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What are the most powerful things that you can do as a parent to enhance your child's success in school? As an educator for 16 years, parent, and mentor, I feel that the following points later in this article can really make difference in your child's performance as a student. I have, as a teacher, watched in recent years as teachers and public schools have sometimes been blasted, being accused of not teaching children. There are issues with some schools and school systems as there are with any other profession, so it is a bit unfair to paint public school education in America with a broad brush. We tend not to admit that the problems go far beyond the classroom. Even politicians got on the bandwagon complaining about schools and educators. The amazing thing to me was how parenting hardly ever came up in these discussions. What has been the X factor in all of this?
I believe that it is the sociopolitical climate that we currently find ourselves in today.
Our children have to deal with issues today that were virtually unheard of twenty-five or thirty year ago. One but has
to invoke the name Columbine to understand the dynamics of the dark forces that are visiting the children of this generation.
Guns and other weapons being brought to school keep many children scared and terrified. Many children come from broken homes
and are devastated about what has become of their family. Some feel they are responsible for their parent's discontentment
when they rarely have anything to do with it. These children are preoccupied with the turmoil in there home and have
little ability to stay on task and focused because their world is falling apart. They are sometimes called the silent
victims of divorce. They see all of the dirt, anger, and difficulty between their parents and often do not receive any
counseling or anything to help them sort through their feelings. Sometimes children have, sadly, been used as pawns and
weapons by one parent against the other parent. Then there are the cultural trends in America were parents are spending less
and less quality time with their children leaving television, computers, the telephones, and friends to occupy their time.
I cannot tell you how many times I have had to deal with children who have had terrible, sometimes unbelievable circumstances surrounding their short lives. Many stay distracted then politicians and parent point the finger and say, it's the teacher. Most teachers are just as concerned and devoted to teaching as they were thirty or forty years ago and quite frankly, even more skilled. Since it is hard to directly measure the effects of these important peripheral issues, we then conclude that by measuring test scores that that will give us an accurate picture of how well teachers are teaching.
Besides, we have to have someone to blame and hold accountable for our students not doing well. With all of these issues that are facing our children, the most important persons, we the parents, are leaving our children's academic development to chance and the wind. Many of us are spend very little quality time challenging out children to academic excellence.
I intend to speak more, over time, on the impact of some of these matters in later issues of the newsletter. Here are a few ideas that might give some immediate results with your child's school performance. These ideas are not by any means an exhaustive list and can be modified and added to at any time.
• Speak very positively to your son/daughter affirming and accentuating the positive things with his/her work effort, attitude, and performance.
• Avoid at all cost affirming your child in a sentence and then in the same sentence use the word "but." Speak to them about what they are doing that is positive. Address him/her in a separate sentence concerning any need to improve or do better.
• Take time out every day to talk to your child about the school day and make a conscientious effort to sit down and help them with homework. This piece is particularly important because it demonstrates personal care and concern. You have to be able to do this with patience though. This may have to be a very deliberate step since we are sometimes tired and just want to unwind after work.
• Be vigilant with your child demanding that he/she writes down all assignments completely and that all work is done well, neatly, and if at all possible, without error.
• Help your child set up a dream board. Utilize magazine cut outs, photographs, poem, written phrases and words that you and your child come up with that offer reminders, encouragement, and focus as your child moves through the years!
MORE TO COME !!!
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